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an ode to boring (and the bored)

10 Aug

Do you like boring?

Boring is safe and guaranteed. Boring is conventional and unchanging. Boring is bureaucratic, ridden with fail safe policies and guidelines chiseled in stone, locked away in a bullet proof glass cage. To be seen and followed, but not touched.

Boring is following protocol and standard procedure. Boring is looking at your friend’s boring car and thinking how nice and good it would be to have one just like that.

Boring is when you’re being evaluated and you know that the passing score is 75% and you aim for 76%, because it’s easier.

Boring is accepting that “that’s just how things are, so it’s aight!” following rules that don’t make sense because, heck! that’s what everyone has always done, and that’s what you’re going to keep doing.

Boring is a steady, dull 9-5 job. Yes, it gets the bills paid, puts food on the table. But it’s boring! Boring is being scared of change, of a destabilization of your status quo, of the sheer panic that grips you when you realise that your salary is going to be a few days late and you’ve queued up bills.

Note: [ Actually, the scared-shitless mindset is predictable and boring, but the panic, my goodness! is not. I like panic. ] (more…)

look ma! top of the world!

2 Aug

You ever had one of those moments when you’re very comfortable where you are? When you are so wonderfully resplendent in your relative I’ve-made-it-ish-ness that you think nothing can slow your roll?

And then something happens, a thought, a rebuke or just a passing comment… and your world is flipped upside down? And then you realize that what you thought you had achieved was so insipid, so unbelievably vapid that the very realization left you numb for days? Because, gotta face the truth, you are not where you should be or where people think you should be?

I had a moment like that last year. And it changed my life, for all of two days. Only two, you say? Yes. Because, I got back to thinking to myself (quite naturally, of course) … “When I say ‘I’ve made it!’, what exactly does that mean?”

What does making it mean?

Take a moment.

Sure. Take another.

I realized that for me, it is the journey that’s important. It is the doing that drives me. The journey is making it.

Fine, I have big evil overlord global domination dreams, as witnessed by the magnificently redundant muahahaha-status-updates on Facebook, but those dreams are an end. What do I do with the journey to the end? Stand around moping about how my death-shrink-warp-ray-thing is not working? Curse the world, Mojo Jojo style and lock myself in, curled in a corner feeling sorry for my pathetic failure self?

No. Hang on a sec, flip the coin.

Shouldn’t each day be filled with meaning, with purpose, with a gradual sense of achievement towards that end? Shouldn’t every failure be a step closer to success by elimination? And shouldn’t every success, on its wonderful own, be a moment of sheer happiness, even if it is just a moment? Isn’t knowledge by its very nature a successive collection of information about things that work and many more things that don’t? And wasn’t that knowledge achieved through a process, a journey, and not just arrived at with instantaneous pomp and ceremony?

And just to mess you up some; does the desire for success ever stop? When you’ve hit the big time, when you’re playing with the big boys, will you stop trying to make it, because (you think and fervently believe) you’ve made it?

No. I don’t think so.

Because there is always a higher level to aspire to. There is always something bigger out there, glinting wickedly and whispering lustily, goading you, donkey and carrot style, until before you know it, there’s a hearse and some strangers are lowering you six feet under.

And sadly, today’s I’ve-made-it-ma, top-of-the-world! moment becomes tomorrow’s fork in the road, and a self-inflicted perpetuation of the making it journey, and guess what? The bloody road still goes on.

Think about it; this life we’re on, however meaningless the quest seems, is a journey, and this success you boast so much about, is simply a detour.

I want to change the world, but I want to be happy doing it, even if that joy is painful, and even if that happiness is filled with the bitterness of failure. I want to enjoy every single passing moment doing it. I’m going to change the world, and it doesn’t matter if I’m cooped up in an office with only a glowing monitor for company, pulling out my hair, or if I’m screaming for dear life at the end of a bungee cord.

Who’s with me?

Rogue FM: Rascal Flatts – Feels Like Today

Offtopic:

“Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.”
- Mark Twain

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.”
- Henry David Thoreau

here

29 Jul

Funny, the places our earthly journeys take us. The temporal and spatial landscapes that our long winding treacherous existences weave each passing day through paths wrought by the beautiful,  mundane, painful and banal ticks of the clocks that we watch so fervently.

Even funnier, the things, in our most exalted moments of weakness, we aspire to. And in our strengths, flee from. A coiling, writhing mass of causality that we hope to un-entagle, one thread at a time, and fail to realise that we are simple falling deeper into a place that is so painfully familiar, and yet so… predictably alien.

Like the eureka moments, when you look around and tell yourself, “Yes. Finally. I am here.” Only to realise that here was there when there was just another star in the night sky, and you were actually here before, and you couldn’t recognize how magnificent it was because, perspective, damnit!, it was not there.

Funniest of all, the realization that you do not in the slightest, know what here is.

And extending that ignorance to there is a lesson in futility… punched with a small measure of justifiable foolishness. Shaken and stirred.

I don’t pretend to understand this here. But while it is… here, while I am… here…

I like it.

Rogue FM: Lenka – The Show

Offtopic:

“I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end.”
- Kahlil Gibran

Discovering Amadou & Mariam

14 Jul

I’m one of those people who never listens to entire albums, however hard I try. And even when I do listen to the entire album, only a few songs stand out. My music collection, while substantial, is mostly for the sake of collecting. One or two tracks on an album will usually suffice. So when someone told me to check out the Distant Relatives collabo album by Nas and Damien Marley, I wasn’t too enthusiastic. At best, I believed I’d like one or two songs.

Boy was I wrong.

I listened to the album for three days non stop, over and over again. It is that good. For that first week, I really didn’t have a favorite song, they all rocked in their own big (and little) ways. But over time, I started gravitating towards “Patience”, and before I knew it, it was, and still is, my favorite song on that album.

Today, I was digging a little deeper into its lyrics and found out that the song was sampled from a Malian duo called Amadou and Mariam. A few minutes of Googling later and I found the original track. I was blown away. The original song is very haunting, a tale about true love, sung in French and a Malian dialect. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

See for yourself.

And did you know they’re both blind?In any case, it appears I’m late to the Amadou and Mariam bandwagon, so off to find the rest of their music.

Offtopic:

“Are, we born not knowing, are we born knowing all?
We growing wiser, are we just growing tall?
Can you read thoughts? can you read palms?
Huh, can you predict the future? can you see storms, coming?”

- Patience – Nas & Damian Marley

a question then, for the heroes

4 Jun

We have a question for you, O Fearless One. You who the world looks at with awe and reverence. You who has reached into the heavens and plucked out a single star, and made it shine brighter than it ever could.

You’ve lived a lifetime of rules and conformity, and yet broken all these rules and set a new standard, and every time your standard becomes the world’s standard, you raise the bar again, higher than ever. You’ve defeated the naysayers time and time again. You have exceeded your fanatics’ wildest dreams. You’ve walked a road none of your ancestors even dreamed existed. You have faced fears some of us only imagine in the darkness of dreams.

You, sir. You, madam. You are our hero.

We look up to you for inspiration and hope. We turn to your shining light when our own weak flames burn out and plunge us into unfathomable despair.

My question then, to you, is this;

How do you do it? (more…)

make me less a man

25 May

Now that we’ve dispensed with the whole fiction thing, back to regular programming.

For friend and foe alike. For those who’ve felt love’s true touch, and for those that yet seek the warmth of love’s gentle caress. For a friend who didn’t give up on the love of his life, when we all thought hope was lost. For the ladies out there who stay to the end, not matter what. And for all the men out there who realize you are nothing without the lady that stands by your side, day after day after day…

Gentlemen… and ladies;

make me less a man

With one hand, the world demands the best from me.
Yet with the other, it would seek to destroy me.
I stand tall and proud in life’s brilliant joys,
And I stand strong and brave through shadows deep.
Because there you are, by my side,
Always.

Make me then, the weakest of men,
If but your strength be mine.
Make me then, half a man,
But let the other half be you.
Make me fall in your arms and weep,
Like a child,
For the love words cannot express.
Make my heart then weaken,
A thousand times over,
With every kiss and touch.

My dreams and ambitions drain the life from me,
And I long for the quite solace of dreamless sleep.
Yet each waking day brings challenges anew,
And I would faint from weariness in the eve,
But you are there, giving me hope,
Always.

Make me cease to breathe,
If it be you that takes my breath away.
Make me then, a hollow heartless shell,
If my heart beats next to yours.
Make me less a man,
Needy and frail,
If you be everything my heart desires.
Make me, then and always, less a man,
But a man who finds strength
In the solace of your love.

Make me less a man,
That I may be more the man,
With you by my side,
Always.

Solomon King 2010

Offtopic:

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
- Judy Garland

“Your heart is my piñata.”
Chuck Palahniuk

Rogue FM: Sleep Like A Child – Joss Stone

no more fiction

18 May

Hello, Reader Dearest.

After doing many funny brain things, I have decided that I will no longer write fiction on this blog. The reasons are many, the deliberations were long and tedious, but I have made a decision.

In summary;

  1. I want this blog to go back to its original theme. Life, Design, Business, Technology.
  2. Much of what I write here is heavily misconstrued as being true, even when clearly labeled as fiction.
  3. I like to keep things separate, helps me focus better.
  4. I want to write better, with more thought and meaning to the process, not a hurried scribble in one sitting.
  5. I can’t really write some of the stuff I want to write, for fear of content dilution, misinterpretation, or very simply, professional image.

So, no more fiction, on this blog at least.

I’m working on another blog, which will be strictly fiction under a different name. And it will be no no-holds barred, no reader-friendly censoring and no politically correct BS. It will be light and funny, dark and gritty, sad and contemplative or whatever I fancy. I will write anything, everything and nothing.

And maybe, just maybe, you may like it.

I’ll probably lose many readers here, but it is necessary.

This blog will not die, so stay tuned, I’ll be posting a link in a few days. Maybe. Because it may be a closed, invited readers only blog, I don’t know.

In any case, I’ll see you on the other side.

With much sincerity.

The Rogue King.

hello, goodbye

3 May

This is for a grieving family, who just lost their son, 8 years old, Saturday night.

He was one of my dearest nephews, and my lil brother’s best friend. The two of them, though two years apart, were like peas in a pod.

All I can think of are the things he kept asking me to do for him (and my brother); take them to the beach, Didi’s world, buy them another drum kit, this time throw in a guitar, fix one of their games that wasn’t working, teach them more things on the computer, buy them a bicycle, read them an awesome story. I was his cool Uncle and I loved him to death.

And death took him.

Some of these things I did. Some of these moments we shared were the best, and silliest of my life. But some things I kept pushing, procrastinating, and now there’s this void, this eternal emptiness… this lingering thought that maybe, just maybe, I could’ve spent more time with him.

You see, I thought I had all the time in the world.

He had only eight years.

They say hindsight is 20/20 vision. Why can’t foresight be the same? When we know how fleeting life is? When we know that at any moment, our next breath could be our last? When we have seen a life taken before our very eyes, a beautiful shining light, snuffed out by the brutal storms and the gentle winds of life.

Why can’t we love fiercely, and jealously, like these very moments are the only ones we’ll ever remember, like this life is all we have?

Because the truth is, we do not have all the time in the world, and for all the grandiosity of our dreams and hopes, this life… these moments, are all we truly ever have.

I miss you Remmy. And I love you, but right now, I really really miss you, kiddo.

Offtopic:

Hello, Goodbye – Micheal W. Smith

Where’s the navigator of your destiny
Where is the dealer of this hand
Who can explain
Life and its brevity
‘Cause there is nothing here
That I can understand

You and I
Have barely met
And I just don’t want to let go of you yet

Chorus:
Noah, hello, good-bye
I’ll see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I’ll see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine
For the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face
Heaven calls for you
Before it calls for me
When you get there save me a place
A place where I can share your smile
And I can hold you for more than just awhile

Chorus:
Noah, hello, good-bye
I’ll see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I’ll see you on the other side

A PIFF Party! (also, what The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda is)

30 Apr

Allow me to appeal, just for a moment, to the budding philanthropist in you.

I’m one of the (very) silent members of the Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda (PDF Download). PIFF Uganda is a non profit organisation whose vision is to create a kinder and more humane world by teaching the idea of performing random acts of genuine kindness. Right now, our random act is to help an orphanage called the Oasis of Life Orphanage in Nateete, Kampala, Uganda.

We need to raise 3.5M shillings for the purchase and facilitation of various items that we believe will go a long way in helping these children in the pursuit of their happyness.

One of the ways we’re trying to fund-raise is by throwing a small party on Saturday 8th May 2010. Details of the party are in the PDF, but in summary;

Date & Time: Saturday 8th May 2010, 4pm to midnight.

Venue: The Troth Group, Bugolobi, just behind Jazz Supermarket, next to Le Bougainvillier.

Tickets at 10,000/= (entitles you to a BBQ meal and a drink)

Join, or RSVP on Facebook.

Also, we’ll be selling a few awesome t-shirts that you can use to spread the word.

Even if you cannot come, buy a ticket for someone or buy a t-shirt or just make a contribution. All proceeds will go to the orphanage and every shilling you can contribute will be very appreciated. (We have an excellent auditor on board).

For quick contact, email:  mail[at]piffuganda.org or piffug[at]gmail.com (replace [at] with @ … SPAM issues)

Again, the PDF has phone numbers, information about PIFF Uganda, the stuff we’re doing and the party details.

We look forward to seeing you, and more importantly, we look forward to your contribution to this cause.

Offtopic:

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
- Edward Everett Hale

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a child.
- Knights of Pythagoras

You give but little when you give of your possessions.  It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Kahlil Gibran

a nakedness shrouded in reason and rhyme

21 Apr

Come, child, they said,
Come and live among the star-filled glades
And I jumped and flew and fell into the shimmering heights
They smiled as I clumsily found my wings and lost my feet
Their soundless mirth a mirror of my burning soul
A flame that leapt high, and consumed me whole

Come, child, they said
Come, walk and learn the secrets of the heavens
And I strode upon the eternal pathways of silvery nights
They laughed as I ran with the infinite chariots of wonder and light
Their peals an echo of the stillness of time
A pure nakedness shrouded in reason and rhyme

Come child, they said
Come and sit by the streams of consciousness
And they spun the tapestry of pain, suffering and hate
They cried as my mind rebelled the wisdom of the sages
Feet wings hands flying walking tumbling through age
Until I came to the end of all… and fell

Into deep and dark and doom.

Now, child, they asked. What of life?
And I stood, shamed in the dark void of despair and strife
In flying, my legs knew nought. And in running, my heart bled.
They reached out and drew me from my murky depths
Vanity and self-righteousness a foulness puddled beneath
And my face, caressed by the shadows of defeat…

Come, child, they said,
Come, now, and live among the star-filled glades
And I cut off my wings and hurled far my sandals
They smiled with me as they took my hands
And our feet trode the fell and the timeless land
While waves of reason crashed against the shores of time.

Now, child, they said. Come, and be.

Solomon King 2010