deus ex machina.03 : binding energy

15 May

Earlier in this series: Day 01 | Day 05

Day 10: Binding Energy

These storms will be the death of me.

The nights fly long and hard and cold. Yet I strive on. My body adjusts to this pain and wraps itself in the promise of reward, steeling itself against the biting winds of failure.

Success came to me but a few days past, when it dawned on me, that I was no longer thinking about the movements; the parrying, the thrusts, the lunges, but they were now starting to become second nature. That the mind and the body were one, moving in tandem, in symphony.

My teachers show me no mercy. They are battle hardened sensei who achieved fudoshin and mushin no shin in another lifetime, and are now here to see that I succeed. I shall not fail them. I shall not fail myself.

The training is hard and brutal, and it’s taking its toll; my mind can focus on nothing else, and my words fly hurried and impatient from my mind and hands, eager to get this done with, that I may resume my training. I must thus apologise for the six people writing this. They will be rec0nciled, I promise you.

But, and here I must allow myself a small smile, there is a glimmer in my eye. At the fair-grounds not but moments ago, I saw a vision of beauty that took my breath away. One that disappeared as suddenly as she appeared…

I must hurry away, I hear the call to arms now.

“Much more running! I’m gonna need new shoes and new feet!” - Prince of Persia

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deus ex machina.02.electrostatic repulsion

10 May

Earlier in this series: Day 01

Day 05: Electrostatic Repulsion

Forgive me, Father. I have failed you yet again.

It was not too many days ago. On pretext, I strode into the enemy’s lair with a grim smile, and I stared into the maws of death and ruin. I saw what beast had been wrought by years of mindless and frenzied commitment to domination. And in there, I saw a shadow of my former self, but alas, it was not me anymore. It was what I could have been, magnified by a thousand (mis)fortunes and favours from the hands of fate.

Would it that such favour and fortune were mine to command! Would it that you granted me them when I needed power the most! Ah Father, the years and screams of anger and pain and frustrations that flew from my lips and tore the heavenly litanies asunder! Were they for nought? The fervent and teary pleas for the smallest portion of favour… Did they not mean anything to you?

Forgive me Father. My tongue wags without direction…

And yet there I stood, in the enemy’s lair, having discourse with the enemy, and with my shadow. A fell beast that made my heart swell with pride, like a mother for a child… and yet whose beating heart I longed to feel in my fist, torn from its treacherous body.

But Father, I saw what I had to become to defeat the beast. And… my knees weakened, and my very breath threatened to rid itself of me.

I was afraid, Father. For the first time in my life, I was afraid.

I have been reduced to a vile pettiness, seething with the hate and rage of a million lives gained and lost at my hand. And I am reduced even more, to come grovelling before you, asking you for help, you who calls me Son. You who sent me on a quest, less than a hundred moons ago. You who gave me this sword, the finest and sharpest of Damascus steel, forged by your very breath and hammered by your own fist.

I stained it with blood, Father, for years. I would my own horn remain silent, but Father… I fought bravely, until breath departed, until darkness took me, and still, I fought more. My brothers fought with me, long and hard, and many fell by the wayside, and many prevailed. Victory abounded, defeat… even more so. It was brutal and it was glorious.

Until the enemy arose… I fought bravely Father, but by Breath he was strong! Night fell, and day, and night again, and still the blows rained on either side. The clash of steel against steel, mind against mind was louder than anything in this world, or the next. There was no one to cheer, no one to hearten the body into strength and none bore witness to the brutality of it all. Not a soul hastened to my aid when the blood blinded my eyes and ran into my lungs. Not even you, Ageless One.

In a moment of weakness, I fell, my sword flew from my hands…

And with my own sword, he tore a hole in my chest that will never heal.

I know what I have to become to defeat him. To defeat them. For he has amassed an army like no other in this land or the lands across the noon-tide. And I must face him and his army alone, Father. For I know that you, Wielder of the Eternal Blades, will not harken my call to rescue, even if my limbs lay severed beside me.

I have come to ask only one thing, that in the deepest and darkest of moments, when all hope is lost, when victory is mine, and I am enshrouded in shadow and ruin… When the enemy’s rank breath is no more… I ask one thing, that you remember me, and yank me, screaming, spitting, slashing back into the Light.

Because Father, to defeat the enemy, I must tread a path the angels will not. I must fall into shadow and darkness.

To slay the beast that plagues me, I must become a beast the likes of which this world, and the next, and the one after that has never beheld, and will never behold again.

And finally, Father, I will return victorious, or I will not return at all.

“I am the architect of my own destruction. So this is it, what is written on the timeline cannot be changed. In my quest to destroy the sands of time, I have been the one to create them.” - Prince of Persia

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deus ex machina.01 : the coulomb barrier

6 May

A small side project. For my own selfish needs, if anything. A precursor to a bigger project, for your selfish needs, my faithful four readers, of course. If you figure this out, by all means, keep it to yourself, yes?

Day 01. The Coulomb Barrier

Procrastination can only get you so far.

So. It starts today. The simplicity of it all is mind-numbing. The journey ahead, frightening and yet, exciting. To emerge unscathed on the other side will be a tale like no other. To emerge, bleeding, scarred but alive will be stuff of legend. Three facets, three fragments, 60 days. We will have Fusion.

The night has been long, and the nights will be longer. The days? A blur… overloaded senses, forced attention… the usual crap.

The imagery, as always, holds me captive… astounds me even, drawing me back to a million years past, when youth, passion and recklessness prevailed. Now, older, wiser… the passion still burns, but the youth is no more. Much has changed… so very much has changed. Somehow, I must rekindle the flames. Fan the dying embers. For where else can we find redemption, unless we look within?

These blades feel familiar. Light, sharp, menacing. They were very rusty, having been abandoned in the corner for eons as youth and passion pursued other interests. But I’ve been sharpening dulled edges all night. And now, these blades, these hands and this mind will cleave a path to honour,  glory and redemption.  Together, we shall lay waste all that stands in our way. As Master Yoda would say, “Much to fear, you have.”

The first light of day streams through the windows. It is a beautiful sight. But inside, there is still darkness. And fear.

Somewhere, through these storms, I will find my way home.

“These storms show me no mercy. I shall respond in kind.” – Prince of Persia

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hello, goodbye

3 May

This is for a grieving family, who just lost their son, 8 years old, Saturday night.

He was one of my dearest nephews, and my lil brother’s best friend. The two of them, though two years apart, were like peas in a pod.

All I can think of are the things he kept asking me to do for him (and my brother); take them to the beach, Didi’s world, buy them another drum kit, this time throw in a guitar, fix one of their games that wasn’t working, teach them more things on the computer, buy them a bicycle, read them an awesome story. I was his cool Uncle and I loved him to death.

And death took him.

Some of these things I did. Some of these moments we shared were the best, and silliest of my life. But some things I kept pushing, procrastinating, and now there’s this void, this eternal emptiness… this lingering thought that maybe, just maybe, I could’ve spent more time with him.

You see, I thought I had all the time in the world.

He had only eight years.

They say hindsight is 20/20 vision. Why can’t foresight be the same? When we know how fleeting life is? When we know that at any moment, our next breath could be our last? When we have seen a life taken before our very eyes, a beautiful shining light, snuffed out by the brutal storms and the gentle winds of life.

Why can’t we love fiercely, and jealously, like these very moments are the only ones we’ll ever remember, like this life is all we have?

Because the truth is, we do not have all the time in the world, and for all the grandiosity of our dreams and hopes, this life… these moments, are all we truly ever have.

I miss you Remmy. And I love you, but right now, I really really miss you, kiddo.

Offtopic:

Hello, Goodbye – Micheal W. Smith

Where’s the navigator of your destiny
Where is the dealer of this hand
Who can explain
Life and its brevity
‘Cause there is nothing here
That I can understand

You and I
Have barely met
And I just don’t want to let go of you yet

Chorus:
Noah, hello, good-bye
I’ll see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I’ll see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine
For the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face
Heaven calls for you
Before it calls for me
When you get there save me a place
A place where I can share your smile
And I can hold you for more than just awhile

Chorus:
Noah, hello, good-bye
I’ll see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I’ll see you on the other side

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A PIFF Party! (also, what The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda is)

30 Apr

Allow me to appeal, just for a moment, to the budding philanthropist in you.

I’m one of the (very) silent members of the Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda (PDF Download). PIFF Uganda is a non profit organisation whose vision is to create a kinder and more humane world by teaching the idea of performing random acts of genuine kindness. Right now, our random act is to help an orphanage called the Oasis of Life Orphanage in Nateete, Kampala, Uganda.

We need to raise 3.5M shillings for the purchase and facilitation of various items that we believe will go a long way in helping these children in the pursuit of their happyness.

One of the ways we’re trying to fund-raise is by throwing a small party on Saturday 8th May 2010. Details of the party are in the PDF, but in summary;

Date & Time: Saturday 8th May 2010, 4pm to midnight.

Venue: The Troth Group, Bugolobi, just behind Jazz Supermarket, next to Le Bougainvillier.

Tickets at 10,000/= (entitles you to a BBQ meal and a drink)

Join, or RSVP on Facebook.

Also, we’ll be selling a few awesome t-shirts that you can use to spread the word.

Even if you cannot come, buy a ticket for someone or buy a t-shirt or just make a contribution. All proceeds will go to the orphanage and every shilling you can contribute will be very appreciated. (We have an excellent auditor on board).

For quick contact, email:  mail[at]piffuganda.org or piffug[at]gmail.com (replace [at] with @ … SPAM issues)

Again, the PDF has phone numbers, information about PIFF Uganda, the stuff we’re doing and the party details.

We look forward to seeing you, and more importantly, we look forward to your contribution to this cause.

—

Offtopic:

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
- Edward Everett Hale

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a child.
- Knights of Pythagoras

You give but little when you give of your possessions.  It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Kahlil Gibran

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a nakedness shrouded in reason and rhyme

21 Apr

Come, child, they said,
Come and live among the star-filled glades
And I jumped and flew and fell into the shimmering heights
They smiled as I clumsily found my wings and lost my feet
Their soundless mirth a mirror of my burning soul
A flame that leapt high, and consumed me whole

Come, child, they said
Come, walk and learn the secrets of the heavens
And I strode upon the eternal pathways of silvery nights
They laughed as I ran with the infinite chariots of wonder and light
Their peals an echo of the stillness of time
A pure nakedness shrouded in reason and rhyme

Come child, they said
Come and sit by the streams of consciousness
And they spun the tapestry of pain, suffering and hate
They cried as my mind rebelled the wisdom of the sages
Feet wings hands flying walking tumbling through age
Until I came to the end of all… and fell

Into deep and dark and doom.

Now, child, they asked. What of life?
And I stood, shamed in the dark void of despair and strife
In flying, my legs knew nought. And in running, my heart bled.
They reached out and drew me from my murky depths
Vanity and self-righteousness a foulness puddled beneath
And my face, caressed by the shadows of defeat…

Come, child, they said,
Come, now, and live among the star-filled glades
And I cut off my wings and hurled far my sandals
They smiled with me as they took my hands
And our feet trode the fell and the timeless land
While waves of reason crashed against the shores of time.

Now, child, they said. Come, and be.

Solomon King 2010

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Alea iacta est

19 Apr

Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus,  a Roman equestrian and historian, is famous for writing a series of biographies on Roman rulers, especially Julius Ceasar.

In his work, Vita Divi Iuli (The Life of the deified Julius), Suetonius tells the story of Julius Ceasar’s famous crossing of the Rubicon River. The Rubicon divided the Roman Gaulish Province of Cisalpine from Italy. A Roman law to protect the republic from internal military rebellion prevented the crossing of this river by a general leading a legion. To do so was to declare war on the Roman Empire.

Which, of course is exactly what Julius Ceasar did in 49 BC. It started what eventually led to transformation of Rome from a republic to the Roman Empire.

Suetonius famously writes that as soon as Julius Ceasar crossed the Rubicon, he uttered the phrase:

“Alea iacta est.”

The die has been cast.

The phrase is now more commonly used to denote a “point of no return”, in which a decision and an action has been taken that cannot be revoked, rescinded or otherwise back-tracked.

In many, many ways, for me,

Alea iacta est.

—

Offtopic: It’s good to be back.

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hiatus

18 Feb

I’m taking a brief sabbatical from my social sphere. Blogging, Tweeting, Facebook. 2-3 months.

I know, it’s counter-intuitive to what I do, professionally, but hey, I kinda do everything… professionally, so maybe I’ll take this break, professionally.

No, seriously, I need to focus on some stuff.

If it’s absolutely critical; king@rogueking.com

Otherwise, I’ll see you all in a few months.

Cheers.

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i cannot divine what it meaneth, this haunting nameless pain

10 Feb

Previously

Wednesday 10th February, 10:37AM

I am seated comfortably in the waiting room of a certain institution of learning. I loathe being idle, especially in waiting rooms. I normally do something daft with my phone, or read. Today, however, I wasn’t in the mood for phone-shenanigans and I hadn’t any reading materiel on me.

My insatiable curiosity got the better of me, and I pulled a book from one of the magazine stands. A thick dusty volume, the kind I am attracted to. Sadly, it is no collection of prose, poetry, nor ancient wisdom. It is commercial drivel, created specifically to lure idlers like myself, or adherents, the likes of which walk these corridors and rooms endlessly.

“Why You’ll Love Germany” or something like that.

I flip through the pages, it is very commercial, meaning it’s well designed. At the very least.

Something catches my eye and I pull out my pencil and a small sheet of paper.

(more…)

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being poor, I have only my dreams

8 Feb

1. This series is for the four readers of my blog. You keep me going, yearning, and growing despite my inconsistencies.
2. This series is fiction. Get over it.

Previously

Saturday, 6th December, 11:37 AM

The fog slowly clears from the misty plains of a thousand dreamless sleeps. I have enjoyed my stay there, through the long peaceful hours. Being, and… not quiet being. The bright sun streams through the trees, sparkling brightly in the morning streams of consciousness.

My eyes open, and there’s a smile on my face.

It has been ages since I’ve had a good night’s sleep. The insomniac and the workaholic in me are constantly fighting for bragging rights to body, mind and soul. The battle is epic, the fields bloody with carnage, but what they think they fight for, I do not know, for how can nothing be a prize?

I get up from my room and walk straight to the bathroom. Stark naked.

One of the main reasons I like staying alone.

The other reason? The silence. The beautiful, still silence, when you can hear the cockroaches peacefully sleeping next to you. Until, of course…

(more…)

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